Tuesday, August 25, 2009

THIS CIRCUS WE LIVE IN

I never watch the news.
It's depressing and usually boring... or so I thought.

Tonight I heard pieces of the news between hands of Monopoly, and these are the things that have been happening in San Antonio.

1. A siamese cat is cut in half with a saw. (Accompanied by a visual of the top half of his furry bod.)
2. What was thought to be part of a human corpse found in a trash can actually identified as a large squid.
3. A taser-wielding grandma robs a Subway.


PS: Just in case you were wondering, I got Boardwalk.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

FOUND NOTE #2

Here's a gem I found at Burnet Middle School--

Weekly Warm Ups:
MONDAY (blank)

TUESDAY (blank)

WEDNESDAY
Tech makes life easier. Computers have changed the way we lived. in what ways has the computer made life better. for working.

THURSDAY
Snoop Dogg likes chicken wings

FRIDAY (blank)

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

CRAIGSLIST AD: 1,325 POPE HATS

1,325 Pope Hats


Date: 2009-07-07, 3:17PM MST


Because of this terrible economy, I'm having to shut down my business. I have OVER 1300 Pope hats (replicas) that I REALLY need to get rid of. The pope hats came from China and are a little too small for most adult heads and are also irritating to the skin, so you would need to have long hair or wear a smaller hat underneath (just like the REAL POPE). Dogs do not like to wear these pope hats, but maybe a large cat or maybe a nice dog would wear one. My dogs will not but they are not very nice and always hate being dressed up like for Halloween when we tried to dress them up like batman but they became very very agitated and bit a neighbors kid. I will lock the dogs up when you come get all of these pope hats.

My wife is a devout catholic and she finds the presence of all of these pope hats all over the house to be blasphemous. I have pope hats in every closet, pope hats under the sing, pope hats full of other pope hats. She will not stop talking to me about getting rid of the pope hats and has started lighting candles all over the house for my soul but these pope hats are extremely flammable so its a problem in my house (there are pope hats everywhere)

I payed 10x what I'm asking for when I bought these pope hats. I still think there is a market for them maybe when the economy turns around. Act NOW! Don't miss this great deal! I have 1,325 total (I counted this morning). 3 of them have some dog bites and one of them is burnt to a crisp, but you can take that one or leave it. Bring 2-3 strong friends.