I've never claimed to know a lot about flies, but something strange has been going on. The same two flies have been terrorizing me for the past few days.
When I try to read or write, they perch nearby and stare at me. They always try to land on me when I’m getting read for work. They basically try to spoon with me when I go to sleep, but they don’t want to cuddle with me-- they just want to rub their fly bodies all over me for their own strange enjoyment. Also, one of them growled at me.
Since the person I’m dating seems to be in cahoots with the flies, I called in Courtney. She is a professional fly killer. When she worked in the kitchen at a camp one summer, she killed 500 flies.
She has annihilated two flies in one swat and has even taken out a fly with a hammer. Anything in her hand is a lethal weapon for flies, and I swear, flies from all over the world tremble when her name is mentioned.
Not these bastards. These flies were confident. When Court came at them, they started dive-bombing her, but she got them. She hit one so hard that it got stuck in a hole of the fly swatter.
Don't come around here, flies. Courtney will be waiting.
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